“I can see that in your sketches.”“You can’t see shit, white girl.”You blow a few bubbles in response and I try to master the rage building up.‘It’d be so easy,’ the monster inside me purrs. ‘Just like prison. You don’t even gotta know. Just black yourself out. Slutty little ass like hers won’t be missed. I’ll clean it all up. Real nice like. Real nice like.’ I shiver. It’s suddenly cold despite the Oakland heat warming our swaying cigar tin as it moves through the city and its boroughs. The scars all over my body come to life. Throb with a pain that actually feels good, which scares me a bit.“Who is she?” Your voice cuts through, strong and clear.The murderous voice and the delightful pain vanish.You wear her narrow-eyed look of intense curiosity like a second skin. I hate the reminders.I drop my head back against the window and stare up.“You can read can’t you? You know exactly who she is… was. The LA Times did a nice little front-page piece on it. Crime of the decade n’shit. A. His facial features were what are often described at rugged. His strong jaw was clean-shaven; he had a straight nose and cornflower blue eyes.As I surreptitiously studied him I was surprised to feel an attraction to him. My heart rate had jumped and I could feel a stirring in my loins. I knew I was blushing. On only one previous occasion had I felt an attraction to another man and that had been a childhood crush for a teacher; an experience I had considered the normal part of growing up and something I had left behind. But I had never considered being physical with an adult male. As I watched him I wondered what it would be like to be held in his strong arms and made love to by this handsome man. I even speculated on the size of his penis and what it would feel like to hold. I was even more surprised to find that these guilty, erotic thoughts had brought my own cock to straining attention in my trousers. What was this effect he was having on me? I didn't think I was gay, in fact I.
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